DEMO POLICY
If you are interested in submitting a Demo after you've read through both of these pages, visit the CONTACT page
I am always looking for new, talented, and dedicated artists to work with. However, I am not ignorant. If I don't receive any notification that you've read any of this whatsoecer, but I do receive a random message asking to work with Haute Magie, then it's obvious you're label shopping, can't go so far out of your way to read past the word 'Label' in the page name, and you will be completely ignored, or worse. I do NOT accept e-mail demos or attachments.
Welcome
If you are here because you are interested in working with me, then kudos to you. You aren't just label-shopping, and you have the attention span of a lifeform above a goldfish. If you aren't here, and you are 'interested' in working with me, then you are going to be ignored, or berated. Have fun with that. If you are merely a curious passerby, welcome to the ramblings of my defunct mind.
Due to the recent death of Domovoi Records (and the merge of all Domovoi artists into Haute Magie's lineup), I found it pertinent to resolve this in a final, all-out Blog. This is a amalgamation of the first Blog, and quite a few new revelations.
Haute Magie's output is no longer limited to the heavy and the extreme.
I realise that this may not be important to most people, because 'music is music, who cares what it sounds like', but if you honestly think that all sounds are pure, then you need to clean your ears out. With fire? Fire Of The Mind...
Therefore, there are still some things that must be said.
First off, one of my biggest no-nos: MP3 download links and attachments.
I'd like to make this very, very clear. If you cannot take the time, effort, and measly money to send a physical demo or press package in the mail, why should I take the time, effort, and sometimes more than measly money to construct a (usually handmade) release for you? I will run an exception for you if there is clearly no way for you to send anything through post whatsoever, such as mail restrictions in your country or origin, or if you live in a swamp fifty miles from the nearest post office, and you've slaughtered and devoured all of your well-trained carrier pigeons in order to sustain the last few weeks of your quickly-darkening universe, but if you have clear access to a post-office or mailbox, there is absolutely no excuse.
Come One, Come All...
Listing all of the genres and styles that I am willing to work with, now, would be absolutely futile. There is no limit whatsoever on what styles of music I will release. Opera, Industrial, Circus music, Doom metal, free Jazz, classical, Japanese Pop, acoustic folk, Hip Hop, pure noise, abstract elevator music... if you can think of it, I will work with it. In fact, I implore you... if you create a type of music that is usually overlooked by most independent labels because the majority are only interested in releasing 'noise' and such, approach me. I am much more interested in the generally scoffed than the spoon fed fodder.
The 'stranger' and more heartfelt it sounds, the more I am bound to like it.
I do not limit my choices of who I work with based on Myspace friendcounts. If I enjoy your music and ideals, if I see something there, then I will work with you whether you have twelve or twelve thousand.
I do a healthy mixture of handmade packaging and pre-made casings (with my own personal touch and flair, of course). However, I will NOT release CDs in jewel cases. I am all up for insane packaging ideas, if you have any. Remember, a record release is nothing if not a collaboration between label and artist... you provide the music (and artwork, if it comes to that), I provide the home, shell, environment, and so on. If you hold up your end, why shouldn't I throw mine up in the air as far and hard as I can.
In light of this, I have my limits, and they are quite concrete.
When to really, really NOT approach me.
As stated above, let me just further clarify for the masses who and what I do NOT want to work with.
Fashion/metal/hipster/etc.-core
Sorry, but peeling shutter shade and hair dye remains off of my boot heel gets tiring after a while. Myspace friend-grubbing trash has no place in the world of real music or art. If you care more about your hairstyle and teenybopper groupies with no sense in how the world works than your music, I wish eternal ravaging pain upon you.
E-grindgorecorewhores
If your name has twenty words in it, and half of them are 'fuck' or 'die' or 'cumslut'..... if your sole lyrical basis is majestic tales of raping your ex-girlfriend's dead mother while her father films it wearing a bondage suit made of faeces and twine (oh but I do love twine something fierce...) .... if you worship wecamewithbrokenteeth or any of the other clones...
"Screamo/Emo"
If you have no idea who Antioch Arrow, Big Basin, Beefeater, Rites of Spring, Ampere, Funeral Diner, Split Lip, Chamberlain, I Hate Myself, Unwound (and so on..) are, and you think that bands like My Chemical Romance, Hawthorne Heights, Suicide Silence, Dance Gavin Dance, Alesana, Chiodos (and so on..) are 'screamo' bands, then slap a stamp on your forehead, jump into the nearest postal box, and mail yourself to the address listed on the page so that I may commence with beating you savagely with my copy of End On End.
Bro-Mosh
Yes, yes, I can clearly see your tough-guy status from the Throwdown and Bury Your Dead bumper stickers on your mother's old Sedan, backwards baseball cap from Hot Topic, and your cleverly torn muscle shirts (muscle not included). Now, just come out of the closet, and you'll finally be able to write a lyric that doesn't contain the words "I WANNA SEE YOU TEAR THIS PLACE APART" and "GO" followed by the sounds CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG SQUEAL CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG SQUEAL.
"Indie"
I'm not quite sure what I can say about this without breaking my keyboard in frustration, but if you actually think that Indie is a musical genre or style, and go so far as to think that it can be applied to bands such as Coldplay, Radiohead, U2, Modest Mouse, Interpol, and so on, then I think it would be wise to just avoid me altogether. This includes 'Indie' Folk, 'Indie' Hip Hop, and just about anything else that you can tack that useless word onto the front of.
"Gangsta" Hip Hop
I don't care if you're from the west coast, east coast, or Space Ghost, coming to both: if your lyrics have nothing in them but talk of yo' grills, yo' fine ass bitches, yo' ride, and yo' homies, you can high-tail it right back to the white suburban 'ghetto' that you came from, young Jeezy Slo' Heezy. Your Scooby Doo samples only add to your shame, not your fame. You'll be forgotten in well under a year. Now, go on and Superman that ho.
Noise Artists / Bands with 100s of Releases
Sorry, but I'm not an idiot. I know for a fact that most of you put absolutely no effort into your work. This does not apply to all of you, and quite a few of you I have come to greatly respect and would be honoured to work with. However, if you have a discography of 435 albums, most of which are on netlabels and 'bedroom' labels who throw an unlabeled cassette into a plastique bag with a piece of notebook paper, then I know for a fact that all you're doing is wasting my time and yours. I put effort, care, and money out of my pocket into what I do. Why should I work with you if you cannot do the same (excluding the latter, of course, in some cases).
"Joke Music"
This comes as a slightly wide breadth of generalisation. It is seen most commonly in 'noise'. This does NOT mean that I will not work with bands that have a comedic twist to their aesthetic, sound, or lyrics. This applies solely to the idiots and hackjobs who feel that they need to tag their 'music' with absurdly racist, homophobic, sexist, or otherwise crude titles and employ imagery and lyrics that pertain to the same to (over)compensate for no actual intelligence, talent, or dedication to their sound. This, once again, does not mean that nudity, harsh / "disturbing" / graphic imagery, et cetera is taboo. I am completely against censorship and honestly believe that a covered up world is a false one. However, "I Fucked Your Mom In The Ass Last Night And Totally Made Her Snort My Jizz So She Like Totally Barfed On Your Dad's Nice Shoes That I Bought Him Last Easter Just So I Could Do This After He Ran Over My Uncle's Cat While I Was Having Awesome Anal Rape Sex With It And Your Sister's 9 Year Old Twat Is Awesome And I Had Gay Butt Secks With Your Aunt's Handbag LOLOLOL" tends to get your point across a lot less frequently than a truly heartfelt statement of artistic integrity and value. If you're funny and you know it, I'll work with your band (dah da dah).
Pseudo Neo-Hippie "Folk"
If your biggest inspirations are CocoRosie, Grizzly Bear, and Devendra Banhart, and you call your music 'folk'... if you think that the 'Peace' sign actually stands for peace... if your lyrics contain your love letters to fuzzy rabbits and the 'everloving freeness sun spirit Goddess<3'... if you have an I'm-taking-my-mother-to-the-Emmys beard, refuse to get your coffee anywhere but Starbucks, because they 'know your tongue so well', and horn-rimmed glasses without a prescription... Also.... Handclaps. No more explanation needed.
//afterthoughts//
- If you have no confidence in yourself or your work (aka STOP DOING IT. I'm not going to buy into your faux self-conscious & depreciating bullshit).
- If you have EVER had a CD of yours on display at Hot Topic or Newbury Comics.
- If you are twelve, just randomly found Merzbow on some Blog, made a Myspace page, and forced your parents to buy you a Fender guitar, a busload of effects pedals, a contact mic, and a Mac with Gargeband.
- If you have no sense of humour, and still think you can make music. Especially heavy music. Especially Black Metal.
- If you didn't nod your head in agreement with at least one thing stated here.
I could go on and on, but if you don't "get it", then you don't "get it".